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Silent Joy

February 21st, 2007 at 10:33 am

Yesterday my bridal dress was picked out and I took it home. I was very happy with the price and thus it was being a store sample, I got it for much cheaper than a discount rate. I am allthough a little nervous to wear the dress as it's a romantic theme but again, itís only that day I can pull off a dress like that. I could be happy in jeans and a t-shirt! Smile.

My ring came yesterday as my fiancť surprised me with it. It was my dream ring. Itís an eternity band with a channel setting so it is smooth and easy to wear without it catching on to anything, very thin and it sparkles beautifully. I only plan to wear the band and nothing else with it. He got it for a great price and I am proud of him.

I came to work today with my ring. I have it on for one day to make sure it's not too big and that might need to be resized, then my fiancť will hide it until the ceremony.

My co-workers are nice but until now, they looked at me like "Is that ring the best you can do?" and "What solitaire ring am I planning to wear with that?" I work for a high tech engineering worldwide company where engineers are paid very well. I did not choose an excessively rich man to marry and "more money, bigger things the better" is not in my mind of thoughts. The co-workers compete for the biggest rock... I am not joking; everyone around me has at least 3 carats or bigger diamond on their engagement ring alone.

Personally I would just be as happy without the ring because I am in love with a good man. My life is good with his influences and his very warm and compassionate side.

Now I am having second thoughts about inviting a couple co-workers to my wedding as I feel judge or criticized by them. Funny how the one who criticized me the most is the one that had to demand a ring from her bf of 4 years or she would leave.

I am happy on the inside and it seems to irritate the heck out of my co-workers that I am content with the little things I have. (Actually Huge things to me personally) Honestly, I feel spoiled with the things I have and the opportunity to have a nice wedding on a low budget.

I have to be thick-skinned at work but it's so hard not to be able to share my Joy.

9 Responses to “Silent Joy”

  1. JanH Says:

    I, too, do not like real big diamond rings. It's not wrong for everybody, but it is not right for me. I am planning on getting a band like you talk about for my 30th anniversary. I have slender hands and a simple, but beautiful ring works best on me. And Joy away here....we want to hear it!

  2. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    That's right, try not to even give a thought to what others may think. Personally, if office mates are not actual friends, I would not invite them to the wedding, either.

  3. fairy74 Says:

    Remember the happier you are the more it shows and sometimes people who are unhappy (no matter how they appear on the outside) feel they need to try and bring you down. Just ignore them, competing for a bigger rock is childish and stupid and the type of marriage you have has zero to do with the size of your ring.

  4. Ima saver Says:

    I agree with fairy74. My dh did not even give me a diamond ring. I told him I already had one, I just wanted a wedding band. I was so happy, that when I went to work, many of my co workers were very jealous of me because of my happiness. I am still happy 30 years later and proud that I had a small nice wedding at home.

  5. fern Says:

    I think it's incredibly tacky of anyone to critique your ring, or your choices. Don't let them get to you.

  6. Money Saving Army Wife Says:

    I had a close friend like that, who was constantly comparing her engagement ring to mine and always reminded me of how much her fiance spent and how much bigger her diamond was. It never phased me because like you, I was marrying an incredible man and I thought my ring was beautiful. I actually lost the ring two weeks before the wedding (we didn't have insurance on it yet) and when I told him, crying, he just smiled and said "Oh is that all? Don't worry honey, we'll get you a new one." The next day I was at work totalling my savings and the overtime I could squeeze in before the wedding to pay for a replacement and while I was in the middle of that he surprised me at work by proposing for a second time with a ring just like the first. He even got down on one knee and everything! They can have their huge fancy diamonds. I have a husband, and a ring, that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
    Congratulations to you and I know you'll have a wonderful life together!

  7. Broken Arrow Says:

    Something must be wrong with me, because that was such a fun read, but it didn't involve any toys for boys. Big Grin

    It's so refreshing to see women who don't care for the big rock thing. My ex mother-in-law was like your co-workers, and I couldn't understand that. My ex didn't seem to care at first either, but eventually had to get her ring "upgraded". Again, I didn't understand it, but Ialways figured that just about every woman would be like this....

    Also, since it IS your wedding, you DON'T have to invite anyone you don't want. Maybe it's guy logic, but if I didn't like someone, I just wouldn't invite them to anything. Simple as that. That's not an advice or anything, just how I feel about people who are going to give you a hard time anyways.

    Oh, and one last thing: Please don't even worry about wearing a fancy wedding dress! Live a little, sweetie. It's your day! Wink

  8. Lux Living Frugalis Says:

    Okay Gruntina Grrrlfriend,

    First you must practice with me your most stony face and a swift neck turn to stare them right in the eyes long and hard and now with the long and derisive 'eat dirt and die' look to be reserved for whatever 'idgit' is giving you grief over your ring.

    Now, for further advice I'd give you if you were my own child I want you to look down at your foot, see that round thing on the back called a heel? Turn on it and walk away from the fool(s).

    See, now doesn't that feel better?

    Oh my! Whatever in the world does a ring have to do with a happy marriage?? Love your man and don't worry your pretty head over the jackals back at the office!

    Twentyfour years later I'm still happy w/my plain gold band! and I do have a 'rock' or ten that I inherited from my Gran that I sometimes wear with it when "I" feel like it. Most days I'm a jeans & T girl myself.

    I'm with BA, wear the dress and revel in your special day and invite only those who will soar with you on your wings of joy!!

    How boring life would be if everyone was the same.

  9. gruntina Says:

    Thanks to you all on your comments. It helps to hear others understand where I am coming from since my environment is so unlike the mentality there is on this website. Itís nice to be reminded I am not alone.

    As far as my dress and getting all prettied up on my wedding day, I am more excited about it but find that I have to build up my confidence level so I can enjoy it without worry or nervousness... As some of you pointed out, life is just too short!

    I decided to cut down on some co-workers invite. Itís about joy and having people share joy on my wedding day but boy does wedding planning really make me rethink and evaluate people around me and see them as they really are.

    Unfortunately, some out of state family/ step families somehow found out about my wedding and apparently invited themselves to the wedding. How I know? They called up my parents saying they booked a hotel and flights already!!!!! They were never invited to begin with!! yikes....

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