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Roller coaster ADJUSTMENT to life now!

September 7th, 2006 at 02:57 am

Rare opportunity to find internet and the time to enter a new bog!

Many things have happened since my trip to Montana to attend my Grandfather's memorial services.

There was a huge lay off and work force cut at my work when I returned. Very hard as most of the people who are laid off, I work closely with. They wanted a budget cut in the HR dept to save the company in the millions almost to a billion! This is just for a small large company. They did not lay me off yet but I did get notice that my job position is being reevaluated and very possible it will be delimited, outsourced or moved out of the country. They do not know which way they are going with it yet and no timeline hint as well.

With my deafness, I strongly feel it will be difficult to find another HR related field. I decided to go back to school in January and start changing my life to the way I would like for it to be. I will study Occupational Therapist and have more or less 2 years left to get my degree. I will be so broke!!!! I am really hoping my job hangs in there until the end of December otherwise I have a huge debts and would force me to find another job ( I already have a night job) which will rob me of my school time. If I go to school part time, it will take me a good 5 or 6 years to finish so not an option for my age.

Truth is I am so scared; I already moved out of a comfy apartment and now rent a room which is hard to get used to, Will loose 85% of my income, will not be able to contribute to a retirement plan for awhile and will have to depend heavenly on the buses for transport. Can be challenging with the Bay Area people and raining winters.

A lot of me want to back out of the school dream and find another job who knows where with my limited skills and so on.... Just for money security... but truth is I am not happy working my butts off to make a rich company become more greedy. I want to directly help the people and the community and be proud of the work I do.

I am just so thankful I have more than a two weeks notice!!!!! More time to think and make adjustment. its hard to be like a college student when I have always had my own place since I was 17, I was married and now divorce and have a cat and now to rent out a room and have only a third of the fridge to store food.

I hope I make it!

A time to grieve

August 15th, 2006 at 08:30 pm

I feel like it has been awhile since I visited this site. I used to have the luxury of using the internet all the time when I arrive home from work. Well I can say I have been definitely sleeping better.

My grandfather passed away. He was a jolly good man and I really enjoyed the time I had with him. They think he had a heart attack because he fell from the bed. It was also his time to be called to go home as he was in his late 80's.

I am flying to Montana this Wednesday. With the discount, still the cost of my tickets is crazy! Almost 700 dollars for a round trip from the Bay Area to Montana!! Montana does not have heavy traffic and the mountains are in the way. It has always been cheaper for me to fly to Hawaii or Florida or NY. This is going to be a financial setback for me but happy was able to purchase the ticket from my savings rather than use of credit card. I just wonít be able to apply a large amount of additional payments to my debts this month. Family is first for me and I will do anything to be there for them.

It's strange to go back home. My brother passed away a few years and that was hard as he was the first member in our intermediate family to go home. For my mom's generation, it will be the first time someone in their intermediate family to go home. Itís strange for my brother and sister to watch them as we had that taste already. I am worried about my grandma... she married my grandpa at age 20 and they are only two weeks apart in age. He has fought in WWII and was a walking history book.

When I think of my Grandfather, he was always waving his hand and in sign language saying "I Love YouĒ He never forgot his signs and often had to remind others how to do it.

I will miss him.

If anyone is interested.. here is the link of my granfather and a funny short story.

http://www.hungryhorsenews.com/articles/2005/02/09/news/news01.txt

Accepting my Priorities

August 12th, 2006 at 06:21 pm

Good news: I found my phone!!! It was on the floor hidden. When I drop things, I don't often notice because of my deafness, I do not hear things fall and hit the ground so I don't look. Must be more careful now!

Anyways, my internet at home is officially turned off. I did this to save the cost until my debts are paid off. I am adamant about getting it paid off by Dec or Jan. But itís harder than I thought to go without.

I miss going on this site and I usually do when I am at work or at lunch break. But I also made a recommitment not to spend too much time on the internet other than my work because there is a chance that I can get a promotional raise and do the extra work. I don't want to blow that opportunity up by abusing company's time.

I am going to miss going to this site and the people. People on this site are a comfort to me when I am feeling stress with finances and also I get the best laughs and that always make my day go good.

I am going to try to find ways to get onto the internet so I can go in more often.

ttyl

Lost phone sigh.........

August 10th, 2006 at 12:01 am

Sometimes between getting off work last night and heading home, I lost the phone. I went to a gas station and paid outside with atm, and then hit a grocery store to pick up a few items. Before entering the grocery store, I realize the phone was not in my purse. I have looked in my car and home. When arriving to work today, I had hoped I simply just left it on my desk from the previous day but it did not go that way. I called the company to suspend my cell phone at the time so other people can not make phone calls on it.

I am worried! Both jobs have no way of contacting me or the other way around. This is important as I work with clients that have disabilities at one of my job. I have no land line or home phone, mostly because I live among three different places because of my two full time jobs.

Financially worried because it was an expensive phone. it was a personal pocket computer under Sprint PPC. I needed it because of the integreated emails account that I use at my day job and the sliding keyboard to type since with my deafness I am limited to text messagings, emails and Instant messaging.

sigh..... Will spend all evening looking for that phone.

Gruntina's very first blog

August 8th, 2006 at 01:36 pm

It's 6:29 AM on my end. Very rare that I am awake at this time! Usually I get up at 8am and am at work by 9am. Really I got up a couple of hours ago since I could not sleep. Instead of struggling with going back to sleep, I decided to do some house cleaning and cleaned out the bathroom and reorganized my cabinets. Interesting how much better I feel.

After a couple of weeks struggling on how to get a blog going, funny I can figure it out at a time like this. I should get up earlier in the mornings as it seems I am more productive in the morning despites most of the time, I hate to wake up.

I am going to make coffee now which is a specialty here at the house. Normally I wait until I get to work to drink coffee there though itís not as good as the ones I buy. I have to admit, main reason I donít make my own coffee in the mornings is because I truly hate waking up in the morning. I think itís because I work two full time jobs and have a hard time keeping up with my personal life that I just am not ready to face the day most of the time.

This is something I truly want to change as I really need some quality time with myself before I give all of me to others.

Now off to get coffee!!!


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