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Is it my attitude or is it reality?

March 1st, 2007 at 11:18 am

Lately I have been preoccupied with work. It is a compliment that I am given new responsibilities on the job as it shows I can handle growth and fast pace. However, I am finding that I am given too much because I am still hanging onto the old responsibilities since I am the only one at work that knows the inside and outside of some programs.

Even though I slave away some days working really hard to complete things on my daily workload, there are times I feel burnt out and just do not have the energy keeping up with everything. This leads to a vicious cycle of off days and catch-up days which is very exhausting. Sometimes I work extra unpaid hours so I can get it done by deadline. For the past several months, I have an extremely tough time waking up in the mornings...mostly because I am not ready or afraid to face the well know busy and stressful job heading up.

What is going on in my mind? Working extra hours hurts me since it is a one hour commute time from work to home, it would mean I donít get to see my sweetie as much and house get unattended.

I am worried I just wonít find another job that nearly pays as well and have the wonderful benefits.

Also itís just so much stress at the job but why am I still there? The managers and co-workers are amazingly supportive and encouragers, they find ways to allow me to do my work the best I can by providing technologies and sign language interpreters and so on. The pay is good and benefits, health insurance and 401k matching is outstanding.

I am battling with quitting since I am feeling way more stress I out to feel but I am not sure if its because I need an attitude adjustment (often) or it just mean that I am ready to move on and find a job that suits my new lifestyle with my soon to be fiancť.

As a woman, I donít want to ever fall in the trap that I am taken care of just because I will marry someone. I want to be financially, emotionally stable whether I am on my own or not. However, the career driven life is just not always for me although I have behaved like that in the pasts due to determination to pay off my debts. Life is too short and itís amazing how green the trees can be.

I donít want to be one of those who slave away at work just to buy a fancy house, car, and materialistic things and never be remembered for anything I do but what I had.

I go back and forth with being over concern about taking care of myself in a materialistic worldly ways of financials and shelters and so on while taking care of myself spiritually and emotionally. Finding a balance would be the goal but where that balance is hard. Partly because any direction from my home is at least 45 minutes to get off the hill and reach the closet town. sighh......

5 Responses to “Is it my attitude or is it reality?”

  1. tinapbeana Says:

    oh, i've been there! i don't know if it's a lady thing or not, but i found it really hard at first to tell my manager when i was being handed too much. i didn't want to seem incompetent or something... all i did was shoot myself in the foot, though. i kept taking on more and more and not saying a word, so my team just assumed i could handle what i had and would therefore ask if i wanted to take on more. a very vicious cycle!

    i'd sit down and let your manager know exactly what's going on. explain that you're happy to take on new responsibiliites as long as they arrange for someone to take over the old ones, b/c you want to make sure that you're able to do a good job without letting details fall through the cracks.

    it's not an easy conversation to have, but my manager respected my ability to speak up tactfully and admit that i wasn't superwoman. good luck!

  2. gruntina Says:

    Hi Tina! Thanks for your comments. I already have told my boss I could not take on more responsibilities and when hard time arises... I have asked my team to take over some work to help.

    I really do need to get a handle on my burn outs thought... It is severely affecting my and my work performance.

  3. JanH Says:

    I think some people thrive on adrenaline like my Hubby. He loves demanding schedules and deadlines. But the rest of us eventually burn out on a schedule like that! I think it is very wise of you to recognize that you need to regroup and take care of yourself! I'm with Tina. I think that as women, we take on so much. Take care and I hope you feel better soon.

  4. Broken Arrow Says:

    Is there any way for you to cut back? Or tell them, in a professional and courteous way that "no", you don't want extra responsibilities?

  5. gruntina Says:

    "Is there any way for you to cut back? Or tell them, in a professional and courteous way that "no", you don't want extra responsibilities?

    I already told my manager I can not take on anymore loads or some things will fall through the cracks. She really does know that as I had to ask someone co-workers to help as a back-up to ensure the work gets done.

    As far as cutting back... really is not an option right now. HR worldwide is making major adjustments and we had to cut more than half of our HR employees. My team and I all had a 1:1 meeting with the director that our positions are being revaluated in the next several months and it will possibly mean delimitation, contractor, and new title, outsourced or 3rd party vendor since itís the best interest of the company to save money. (Note: HR dept donít make profits so they try to keep headcounts low as possible).

    We are going through a series of continuous changes as I seen a pattern that I am cleaning up or tying up loose ends with all of the transitions we inherited due to the cut.

    If I loose this job, I am pretty much screwed as I do not have a degree and would have to start over at the bottom at other companies if they would even hire a deaf person.

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